This week’s question from our portal “Ask Us Anything” comes from Carol.
Recently, I realized there’s a very toxic pattern of behavior between my dad and my grandfather. They both lived their lives in certain ways that I have issues with. And I was blown away to discover that same pattern is operating in me today.
I feel it working in me—particularly when it comes spending money in a certain way and feeling for sure that I’m going to fail at whatever I’m trying to do.
What would you suggest I do to break this pattern?
It’s actually quite simple:
Walk away from the story completely and do what you want to do.
Anything you create out of your dad’s and grandfather’s story stays attached to that story—and it’s not 100% what YOU want to be.
I’ve seen many cases like this where the parents and grandparents seem to be entrenched in a certain way of behaving… and in every case that I’ve seen, it keeps a person, for whatever reason, bound to the parent or the grandparent in a horrible way.
My suggestion is always the same:
Completely walk away from it and go live your life free without
those parental stories around money.
Just get the hell away from it. It’s no good. It’s all very toxic stuff.
You have the capacity to walk away from it. The way to walk away from it is to ask yourself what you want.
Forget about them. Forget about what they left you. Forget about all that nonsense.
What do you want? That’s all you have to answer.
You don’t even have to “stay alert” for the pattern working in you. You either walk away from it or you don’t.
The way you would know if you haven’t walked away from it is… you’re making decisions because of it.
Whenever you have that kind of money involved in those things, people end up making decisions because of it.
What’s important is that you get really clear on what you want for your life, and just scrap the story. That was their life. That was their history. That was their time. This is yours.
It doesn’t matter if you fail. If you fail, it’s your failure.
If you succeed, it’s your success.
Walk away from the story. Don’t even consider it. Just ask yourself, “What do I want?” And follow that light.