This week’s question from our portal “Ask Us Anything” comes from Mike Ellis.
Yesterday, I was filling out my “Sacred Seven” form, planning my commitments for the following day. I listed out a bunch projects and things to do. This morning, I rolled in, ready to attack my “To Do” stack. But instantly I was like, “Oh, man, there’s a lot to do here. This will probably take more time than I have. These tasks will probably be hard.” Suddenly I was questioning, “Do I really need to do all of these?”
Is this like a never-ending battle? Is it just a matter of working through all the tasks each day? Does it ever get to a point where it’s easy, and we can just do one thing at a time?
Great question!
There are 2 very important things to notice about this process:
First, you’re consciously looking at the things you’ve committed to. This helps you decide, “Do I really want everything that I say I’m committing to?”
Not only do you have the power to commit to something—you also have the power to say, “No.” You can decide you DON’T want something in your life, and you can choose to do something completely different.
It’s extraordinarily powerful for a person to start saying “no” to things they don’t like or don’t want in their life.
It’s actually harder to say no. Most people say “yes” way too easily, without considering the commitment behind their “yes.”
The second part of this is, you’re noticing a conversation taking place in your head that’s self-defeating and not supporting you in any way. You’re telling yourself, “I have to do all of this, and it’s going to be so hard.”
The idea is to train yourself to make “following through on your commitments” a daily habit.
If I say I’m going to something, then I’m NOT going to have a conversation about it in my head that’s about NOT doing it. I’m just gonna do it and get better at doing it.
This forces you to acknowledge that if you really don’t like doing something—then change it, or don’t commit to it to begin with.
Take a step back, look at your life, and examine it from a place of radical self honesty. Ask yourself, “How many things do I have to do in my life that I really don’t like, but I say yes to because of other people?”
What if you started saying no to those things? You’d have more free time.
You’d be happier. The day would be lighter. You would enjoy yourself more. You’d be more proud of yourself and the things you do.
When you’re “being your word” and following through on your commitments, you’re building that muscle. This allows you to get better at it. You’ll say, “Hold on a second. No; I made a deal with myself. I’m committing to this. I’m not going to have an argument in my head about NOT doing it. It’s on the calendar. It’s getting done. That’s it.”
You should not be debating with yourself about whether or not to follow through on your commitment. If you don’t want to commit to something, then don’t commit to it.
When you get in an argument back and forth in your head, your subconscious mind will grow it even bigger. When you put a stop to it, it’ll eventually stop.
