This week’s question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.
My wife is a working professional and is paid very well. She’s fulfilled with her work, and her income is high, but she’s not an entrepreneur. She’s not tuned into the hustles and struggles of owning your own business.
Many of the things I need to work on—like mindset issues—come more naturally to her. Sometimes I’ll say, “Hey, let’s go to a David Neagle live event,” and she won’t be as into it as I am. But sometimes she’s curious about what I’m learning.
Sometimes she sees me doing this mindset work and she’s like, “Why do you need to do that?” How can I get her and I on the same wavelength, so that we can pursue some non-economic, non-financial ways to grow?
The first thing I’d ask her is, “Why are you asking me this question? What are you actually looking for?”
Because it sounds like she’s looking for something, and you’re answering her question in a way where she’s not satisfied.
So I would find out what she’s looking for, and what the reason is behind her question.
I’d say, “That’s a great question. And I honor and respect your question. But why are you asking me this? What information are you looking for?”
Let’s find out what she wants to know.
Because if you answer the wrong question, she won’t be satisfied.
Obviously, there’s a disconnect somewhere. And we need to figure what it is first.
I’d also say to her:
“I know you don’t have as much interest in this area as I do. But it would really mean a lot to me if you’d come to this event with me, because it’s something I’m interested in. And I’d love for us to work together on our relationship.”
“…AND I’ll totally respect you if we get there and you decide it’s not for you. But it would really mean a lot to me if you’d come see what’s really interesting me, so that we can create dialogue between the two of us.”
I would approach it from that angle.
Sometimes the spouse just isn’t into it.
And that’s totally fine, as long as both people are working to grow their relationship together.
The worst thing you can do is to make her wrong for her lack of interest.
Here’s another thing…A person has to fully embrace the teacher.
She might be curious about the material I’m teaching, but I might not be the right teacher for her.
She might be interested in the content, but maybe she needs to find somebody she vibes with better. That’s always a possibility too.