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How Do I Get Out of This Self-Sabotaging Pattern?


This week’s question from our portal “Ask Us Anything” comes from Maria.

I’m becoming aware of my self-sabotage patterns and they’re very consistent. Every time I start off strong, I get excited—then I pull away. This is consistently happening. Over time I move forward, but it’s not a quantum leap; it’s more like a turtle move.

Today I stopped doing a daily process that I had committed to doing. I just completely fell out of it. Now that I’m realizing this and have awareness of it, I’m starting to take action again. But do you have any tips on what else I can do to get out of this annoying pattern?

First and foremost, understand that you are the one who’s breaking your word with yourself.

This pattern has no power, other than the power you give it.

When we break our word with ourself, we have to ask ourself—“What is the conversation I’m having in my head that I’m buying into that allows me to create the excuse to not do it?”

When you understand what that conversation is, then you make a decision that you’re not going to engage in that conversation anymore.

You’re going to get up in the morning, get yourself awake, and do your daily process every day.

You can’t give yourself any option not to do it.

We also have to understand that even with everything I just said—you have to pick something you really want to do. Because if you have to fight yourself to do something you don’t want to do, chances are you won’t do it… or you won’t do it for very long.

I think the evidence is clear across the board with humanity. People just don’t do what they don’t want to do for a very long period of time. It doesn’t matter whether it’s hard or easy, right or wrong.

Until a person gets square in their mind that this is what they want to do, they won’t do it.

We make ourselves miserable by saying, “I’m going to do this,” when you know damn well you’re not going to do it, or you don’t want to do it.

So the key is…ask yourself a different question about the problem:

How can you get yourself to want to do something you know needs to happen in order for you to get a result you desire?

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