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I’ve been told “No” my whole life

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This week’s question from our portal “Ask Us Anything” comes from Diane.

All my life I’ve heard the word, “No,” to anything I’ve desired—from my parents and from my husband. Now I’m divorced and on my own. When I try to ask myself, ”What do I want in my life?” I draw an absolute blank. Whenever I try to think or dream about what I want to do (or NOT do), my brain shuts down. 

I’ve been told I don’t have big enough dreams, and that’s why I haven’t created my business yet. Is there a way I can get past that noise or that feeling of “shut-down-ness”? 

Great question! 

Yes, absolutely. So, heres the process to use. 

The first thing you have to do is, start to notice where you want to do something, but you tell yourself no. For the next week or month, really pay real close attention to the things you want—and where you talk yourself out of being, doing, or having those things. 

When you recognize it, you have to say yes to it. If you say yes to those things, youll start to expand that desire into what you truly want. 

I had the same problem many years ago. I had no idea what I wanted, absolutely none. Because I was so shut down as a kid from being able to have whatever I wanted, I stopped dreaming. 

I was so afraid something bad would happen
if I said I wanted somethingthat
I stopped wanting anything. 

To change this, I started small. I began to allow myself to want small things—and I would let myself be, do, or have those things. 

Start where you are. I don’t care how small it is. Find the things you want right now, and say yes to it, and allow yourself to be it, do it, or have it. 

Your desire will grow from there, I promise you. And it won’t take a long time as long as you stick with this process. 

Often, people won’t even allow themselves to want something, because they’re afraid someone will tell them “No.” You’re the only one in charge of that now. 

But your subconscious mind doesn’t know that you’re in charge. It still believes that something (or someone else) has authority over you. You have to retrain your subconscious mind that YOU are the authoritynot the voices in your head. 

David

P.S. If you want to start creating a life you love, join me for my Art of Success Summit, happening June 26-28th. For three days, you’ll immerse yourself in success principles and learn how to use the universal laws to create an amazing life and all the success you desire. 

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P.S. Whenever you’re ready… here are 2 ways we can help you grow YOUR business:

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