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What to do when success strains family relationships


This week’s question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from Mariarosa G.

Neagle Code Question

Hi David!

I am the daughter of a family who was raised VERY poor, and their expectations have always been to make something of myself and to be successful, but I’m now at the top of the income level of anyone in my family and I’m finding myself in an uncomfortable place. I’ve hit a ceiling, and I think it’s because I’m worried I won’t fit in with my family anymore or I won’t “be like them” anymore.

How should I think about this so I can break through this income barrier?


Neagle Code Answer

Hi, and thanks for your question!

The first thing you need to understand is that when you exceed the income level of anyone in your family, you may not fit in anymore.

You may not relate on the same level anymore either.

Things that are important to you may not be important to them and vice versa.

And sometimes they will judge you for your success.

But if you don’t move forward,
you’re living a life so they won’t feel uncomfortable.

Recognize that at some level your parents gave you a double binding message.

One was to be successful.

The other was don’t stray too far.

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The fastest way to move through this income barrier is to realize that your relationships may change.

This doesn’t mean that you love them any less…
it just means that it’s time to change.

Accept that change, and begin surrounding yourself with other people who WILL support you and who are also several steps ahead of you as you strive to hit your goals.

After all, you get ONE life…who are you going to live it for?

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