This week’s question from our portal “Ask Us Anything” comes
I’m still struggling with the assault that happened to me. I finally cried for the first time. The situation is resolved on a practical level. But I’m having more nightmares—not necessarily about that incident, but about other bad things that have happened in my life.
Next week I’m going into a potentially stressful situation at a conference, and I’m worried about getting assaulted again. I normally drink to calm the anxiety. (I was drinking when the assault happened.) I keep searching for, “How do I make this go away?”
You don’t make it go away. It’s never going to go away. It’s an experience that happened in your life.
What you’re looking for is to master it, so that it’s not haunting you. And that process takes time.
The fact that you cried is fantastic. That emotion needs to come out and be expressed. That’s a good thing, because it allows your mind to calm down and think more logically about what actually happened.
Instead of letting random thoughts run around in your mind, I would suggest writing each one down and addressing it as it comes up.
Ask yourself, “What is this about?”
Typically, when those things pop up, your mind is showing you a place where you haven’t resolved something around this event. It’s represented by you feeling insecure about what happened.
Your mind is doing a great thing. It’s trying to say, “Hey, pay attention to this. We don’t feel safe yet, because we haven’t resolved or processed this thought or idea.”
When you break each thought down, you’ll start resolving it. You’ll find that the emotions around it dissipate almost 100%.
It’s not a bad thing to experience nightmares. Your subconscious mind is trying to resolve trauma and find a way to heal. But it needs your help to be able to do that.
Remember… the subconscious mind can’t think. All it can do is replay the patterns. Your conscious mind (where your intellect resides) gives you the ability to reason and think logically.
You’re the one who has to make sense out of what those subconscious patterns are. As you address each one, your mind will calm down—because you’re directing it and letting it know that it’s okay. Its job is to say, “Hey, we don’t feel safe.” It’s doing its job.
Also, ask yourself, “What can I learn so I don’t find myself in this situation again?”
Don’t drink. Drinking lowers your senses, and right now you need to become aware of them. Because I promise you—if you were fully aware, you would’ve noticed something was off about that person.
I’m not blaming you; I’m just saying, “Let’s look at the facts.” Part of the problem is that you had a couple of cocktails that night and so did the other person. That dulls your sense of awareness of what’s going on around you. You’re no longer aware of the energy you’re picking up that doesn’t feel right.
This is about learning how to be safe, getting in tune with your body, and being aware of when your intuition is letting you know when something isn’t right. We don’t always know what it is. We just know we have a feeling. We have to honor that feeling.
Part of our mind is designed to be that way. It’s kept humanity alive over millions of years as human beings evolved. It’s more intelligent than the intellectual mind.
But if you drink, you can’t trust that feeling. And you might not experience it at all.
This is also about expanding your awareness of yourself, thinking through a problem ahead of time, and looking at what your options are, so that you’re not forced into a situation that doesn’t feel right. You have to make the choices that reflect what’s most important to you. When you do, you’ll become a stronger person.
David
P.S. Limiting beliefs (such as “hard makes you a good person”) often BLOCK you from creating the success you want in life and business. If you’re ready to start identifying and removing the limiting beliefs that are holding you back, then join me at my Art of Success Summit, on October 23-25th. Over 3 days virtually, you’ll immerse yourself in universal success principles, which is the first step in changing your mindset and how you see yourself.
To learn more, or to secure your ticket for the Art of Success Summit, click here!
