This week’s question from our portal “Ask Us Anything” comes from Jake.
How do you know when you’ve done your best? I’ve always struggled with this concept my entire life. As a teenager, I had this extreme way of thinking where I literally believed you had to die to actually give it your best – like that was the only way to know you’d given everything you possibly could.
I still find myself getting caught up in this perfectionist thinking where I could potentially stay up all night working on something, always finding one more thing I could do better or improve. It’s like I’m never satisfied that I’ve truly done my best because there’s always something more I could theoretically do. How do I know when enough is enough? How do I know when I’ve actually done my best without falling into that trap of thinking I need to exhaust myself or sacrifice everything to prove I’ve given my all?
This is very easy. You look at something you just did and ask yourself in the moment: could I have done that any better? The answer is either yes or no.
“In the moment” is the key phrase. If I’m not consciously aware that I could do something better in the moment, then I did my best. I might be able to do better tomorrow because I now have hindsight, but I couldn’t have done it better then.
The “doing better” thing is when you’re doing something and your mind is going “this isn’t the best you could do, you could do this better, you’re being lazy.” Then in that moment, you can change that.
But when you look back during the day, if it’s not in the moment, don’t feel bad about it because there’s nothing else you could have done. You can do better tomorrow, but you did your best then. That’s all that’s required.
When you have regret or something didn’t turn out how you wanted, just realize you did your best in that moment, learn, and move on.
This is generally how we learn – we apply new understanding the next time we approach the task. But regrets are some preconceived story that we could have done something different than we did, and that’s not a possibility. So there’s nothing to regret.
If it’s not in the moment where you’re consciously aware you could do better, you couldn’t have done it any different. You can do better tomorrow because you now have 20/20 vision on that thing, but in that moment, with the consciousness you had then, you did your best.
The key is being honest with yourself in the moment. If your mind is telling you “this isn’t your best effort, you’re being lazy” – that’s when you need to step it up. But if you’re truly giving your best effort with the awareness and energy you have in that moment, then that’s enough.
