This week’s question from “Ask Us Anything” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.
Recently, my personal life was turned upside down. I’m trying to figure out how to be gentle on myself, while giving myself time—hours or days—to just to be upset. Usually I’m a very driven, motivated, positive person. I’m trying to figure out how to balance all this “life stuff” with success and everything I’m supposed to be thinking about and doing to get clients.
I’m not feeling positive much of the time. Am I supposed to fight against that?
No, no, no. Being upset and getting that energy out and expressed through your body is a self-care issue.
You should schedule self-care in your calendar.
Self-care is different; it changes. Our body changes, our needs change. It’s our responsibility to address what we need, but we should always have time set aside for self care. That goes into the “self-care” category on your calendar.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed by the crisis in your life…are you giving yourself time to express those feelings?
Are you actually putting time aside to sit down, journal, cry, or talk to a therapist about it? Are you doing whatever you need to do, to help process that part of your life?
You need someone who can productively help you move through it—a therapist, a doctor, psychiatrist, coach, or someone who can bring skillset to your issue to help you move through it.
Friends don’t have that ability. They can be a great ear. But you don’t take heart disease to your next-door neighbor.
Once you process out a lot of that energy, doing all the new business-building activities won’t feel as overwhelming to you anymore.
One last thing to remember.
“Getting” new clients is never a good thing. You want to go find people whom you can help in your business.
If you see it as “getting,” that’s a big part of the problem.
Ask yourself: “Who can I help today?” That’s what a business is supposed to do. It’s supposed to be helping people.
If you’re thinking, “Who can I get as a client?” you’re looking for people’s money.
If you think, “Who can I help?” you’re looking to find specific problems and address them. That’s a very different focus.
