This week’s question from our portal “Ask Us Anything” comes from Leslie.
I’ve been taught that we need to be likable, so that people will buy from us. I’m not sure what this means. Does it mean we should be nice during sales calls, and that we should talk about personal stuff? Does that help us influence people?
This is a really fantastic question!
You have to look at the internal motivation for the conversation or relationship itself.
There are many relationships we enter into in life where we want somebody to like us. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. However, the idea behind a relationship should be…
“Does this relationship add value to my life?”
“Do I add value to this person’s life?”
During a sales call, and in business relationships, the goal isn’t to be “nice,” but to see if you can add value to the person’s life.
Being nice is not a value.
Being kind is a value.
“Nice” is more of an attitude. It’s a mask that people put on momentarily to cover up whatever they might be experiencing at the time, so that they don’t end up in confrontation.
The only other reason to be nice is to manipulate people.
Being “nice” is an extremely manipulative process that’s used by criminals, conmen, rapists, murderers, and serial killers.
In a business context, you have to be able to evaluate the character of another person. When you don’t know how to evaluate the character of an individual—and you just focus on how “nice” they’re being—you can end up in trouble.
In a business conversation, sales conversation, or other professional conversation, like a doctor, psychiatrist, or coach, it doesn’t matter to us whether or not you like us. That’s not why we’re in business.
We’re in business to help you get a result.
If you like us based on that, that’s fine.
But the first value we’re going for is not whether you’ll like us. It’s whether or not we can make a difference in your life.
Ideally, you’re picking me not because you like me, but based on whether I add value to whatever your problem is.
I’m not saying you should show up as a jerk. You can be kind in your sales calls. It’s totally appropriate to be kind.
But sometimes within these conversations, you have to be confrontational or direct. I frequently have to be confrontational.
Many of my clients (especially attorneys) have to be confrontational. Doctors have to be confrontational. That doesn’t mean you can’t also be kind.
Sometimes kind IS confrontational.
We’re not there to waste time. A sales call can be done in a way that’s direct and to the point, while also being kind.
Hope that helps, Leslie!
David
P.S. If you’re ready to finally break free from the chains of needing to be liked and start closing deals like a pro, then you can’t afford to miss my upcoming free training, “The 4 Steps to Sales Mastery” Join me on March 21st from 2-4pm ET, and in just two hours, I’ll reveal the exact strategies I’ve used to help my clients generate millions in revenue. You’ll discover how to obliterate procrastination, master the psychology of sales, and use the power of truth to transform objections into unstoppable buying momentum. This is your chance to take control of your financial destiny and unlock the wealth-building potential within you and your business. Register [HERE] and get ready to experience a sales breakthrough like never before. I’ll see you there!
