This week’s question from our portal “Ask Us Anything” comes Jonathan.
I remember you talking about witnessing something versus recognizing and judging it, specifically referring to the “ugliness” we might see in others being a reflection of ourselves. Could you explain more about this concept? Particularly how we can identify what these judgments are reflecting in us and what they’re triggering within us?
There’s a fundamental difference between witnessing something and judging it. You can’t recognize something in someone else unless that quality exists somewhere inside yourself. Think about any object in front of you:
The only reason you know what it is, its definition, its meaning,
its usefulness or lack thereof, is because that knowledge already exists inside you.
Judgment works the same way. When you witness behavior without judgment, you’re simply observing it. But when you judge behavior, you’re making someone wrong for what they’re doing – it’s an accusation, a condemnation of them or their actions. This requires emotional involvement.
If I see someone doing something I consider wrong and I get emotionally involved with thoughts like “how could they do that,” I’m coming from a place where that quality exists within me. Instead, I can choose not to engage with it emotionally. I can acknowledge it’s not something I want in my life while still wishing that person well and seeing them to their highest good.
Anything we’re emotionally connected to, we’re drawn to energetically. It’s similar to when someone leaves a bad relationship but spends years talking negatively about that person. They’re still in the relationship energetically even though the person is physically gone. They’re playing old movies in their head repeatedly.
When you judge others, you form an energetic connection to the very qualities you’re condemning. The key to freedom is to witness without judgment, to see people to their highest good regardless of their current behavior, and to focus your energy on what you want to create rather than what you want to avoid.
