This week’s question from my portal “The Neagle Code: Directions for Life” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.
Hi David!
I’m beginning to realize that I have a deep need for appreciation. I go out of my way for others to the point of sacrificing my own desires, and when I get no thanks or appreciation, I can feel the anger welling up inside me. I know this need is spilling over into my business. How do transform this and put a stop to needing others to appreciate me?
The need for validation from other people is an issue that comes from low self-esteem. This need comes from the perception that you aren’t worthy and it actually started prior to age 7 or 8.
If we don’t truly believe that we are worthy on the inside, we’re always going to be seeking validation or appreciation from others that tells us we are okay.
The problem is that no matter how much others tell us that we did a good job, deep down we don’t believe it.
When a person doesn’t get the appreciation they are looking for it can be extremely painful or even devastating. This causes them to feel resentful and that leads to anger.
A person who is really trying to overcome this in their life has to be aware of the cycle and all the places in their life where this shows up. They have to know how the cycle works.
I’m going to share an integration exercise with you that will help you overcome the need for appreciation if you really want to overcome it.
A) For every person who comes into your life, find one thing you can honestly appreciate about them in that moment.
B) Start journaling what you’re finding to appreciate in other people, and begin to see these qualities in yourself.
C) Start to take a look at how wonderful you really are as a human being and an individual.
PS: The Neagle Code: Directions for Life is a weekly no-cost program that is open to everyone! Each week, I’ll select and personally respond to one question received via the above “The Neagle Code” page that I feel in my heart will help the most people. (You may choose to remain anonymous if you wish, with our full support.) It is my deep, heartfelt intention that ~ in answering your questions ~ I may provide you with the Universal Truths that in committed application, will set you free. Simply submit YOUR burning question at: www.DavidNeagle.com/ask-david to participate.
