This week’s question from our portal “Ask Us Anything” comes from Stacy.
I recently noticed something about my leadership style that’s bothering me. I’m the owner of my firm and had already discussed with my team about scheduling changes I wanted to implement – specifically about setting aside focus days, buffer days, and free days throughout the year. They were completely on board with it. But when we got into the actual scheduling meeting, I caught myself spending 20 minutes justifying and re-explaining everything we’d already agreed to. I realize I often do this – seeking validation or trying to get people to like my decisions before I fully commit to them. Even though I’m the decision-maker, I find myself being deferential and trying to get others to buy in first. How can I break this pattern and become more confident in my leadership?
What you’re experiencing is actually quite common among leaders. Your subconscious mind still views other people as authority figures over you, which is why you’re seeking permission even when you’re the one in charge. Most people either create their life needing exact permission from others, or they structure things to avoid rejection. But here’s the truth: The more you step into your authority and clearly state ‘this is what we’re doing’ without seeking permission or making excuses, the more powerful you become in manifesting what you want. This isn’t about being a dictator – it’s about being a leader. There’s nothing wrong with explaining changes to your team, but unless they see something you’ve missed, you’re the final say. Every time you catch yourself justifying decisions that have already been made, recognize it as an opportunity to step more fully into your leadership. The unconscious pattern of seeking permission or avoiding rejection can actually delay the manifestation of your goals and slow down your growth. By claiming your authority now, you’re not just improving your leadership – you’re removing hidden barriers to your success.