This week’s question from our portal “Ask Us Anything” comes from Micah.

I’m having fear, doubt, and uncertainty about building a team. Our COO left a couple weeks ago – another firm recruited them away and paid double what we were offering. I feel like we’ve had difficulty recruiting, and today one of our key team members is going to lunch with someone who left for a different firm. My mind immediately thinks “great, if that happens, that’s gonna suck because I’m gonna have to find someone.” I don’t feel like I have the energy to sell people on the vision. Does that make sense?

Ok, this is a great question and one I recently got from a private client. Part of the problem is that you’re focusing on what you’re going to lose rather than what you’re going to gain:
When you focus on what you’re going to lose, your energy tanks – that’s low frequency thinking.
There’s nothing to indicate that your team member is going to leave. It’s lunch with a previous team member that they may have made a connection with outside of the office. So there’s actually nothing to cause that thinking other than your own fantasy, and it doesn’t serve you.
On the flip side you need to realize this – When someone signs on to work with you, they’re not signing their life away to stay forever. That’s just business. Someone’s always going to leave. It’s just the nature of it.
Has this person shown interest in continuing to grow with your firm? What’s the truth in this situation?
From your question I can see that you feel your mindset is that something’s happening to you rather than something’s happening for you. The truth is, something’s happening for you because you’re not a victim.
You’ve got to bring truth to your feelings. If you keep saying “I feel like this, and I feel like that,” it doesn’t mean it’s true. As long as you let your feelings lead based on a lie, you’re gonna stay stuck in that negative cycle.
The truth is that you have a great business. The truth is the people that worked with you loved working with you, but it was time for them to move on. The truth is you’re building a business where people will come and go, and this is happening for you.
Business is nothing but solving problems. That’s what business is – solving problems. You have to become comfortable being uncomfortable. A real pattern you should work on breaking is taking things personally, because someone’s decision to not work for you any longer has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with them.