This week’s question from our portal “Ask Us Anything” comes from someone who wishes to remain anonymous.
I’m surrounded by negativity from people in my immediate circle, including a few family members, colleagues, as well as people I know online. I know they’re being negative. And I know I should probably “upgrade my environment” and be around better people…
But my question is, is their negativity really harming my mindset? I don’t know if I want to completely cut these people out of my life. Can’t I just mentally reject what they’re saying while still being around them?
Great question.
Everything in your environment is impacting you in a positive or a negative way, even if it’s on a subconscious level. Your “environment” includes the people you spend time with.
But you have control over what you allow into your environment.
In As a Man Thinketh, James Allen wrote:
“The human mind may be likened to a garden, which may be intelligently cultivated or allowed to run wild. But whether cultivated or neglected, it must and will bring forth. If no useful seeds are put into it, then an abundance of useless weed-seeds will fall, accumulate, and will reproduce their own kind” (p. 9).
Everything in your environment is going directly into your subconscious mind.
If you’re constantly being exposed to negativity from other people, those “seeds” are being planted in your mind over and over again. Eventually, they will bear fruit.
If you hear something over and over again, it will start to become part of your belief system—even if you’re unaware of it.
By contrast, if you surround yourself with positive, success-minded people, “seeds” of positivity will be planted in your mind over and over again. And they will eventually bear fruit.
That’s why it’s so important to choose what you allow into your environment (including people).
In your situation, I would recommend doing 4 things:
1) Limit the frequency in which you see these people or spend time with them.
2) Limit the length of time you spend with them in order to keep the relationship, but not be immersed in their negativity.
3) You can learn to become good at “redirection,” and point the conversation toward a topic that’s more uplifting and positive. If someone starts talking about a negative topic, change the subject.
4) Set a boundary. If you want to keep a negative person in your life, that’s fine, but don’t participate in their negativity. Tell them you’re not interested in hearing about or participating in the negativity anymore. And be willing to walk away from the relationship if they don’t honor this boundary.
(My mentor, Bob Proctor, refused to be around negative people. He would say, “Get the hell away from me.”)
I hope you find this helpful the next time you’re recognizing someone else’s negativity.
