This week’s question from our portal “Ask Us Anything” comes from Tina.
Recently, I heard you say that we need to be willing to be uncomfortable in order to grow. But how much discomfort is too much? Like, at what point am I pushing too hard versus just being in that growth zone? How do I know the difference?
If you’re asking “is this too much,” you’re not there yet. When you’re actually pushing too hard, you’ll know it. You won’t have to ask.
Here’s what I mean: most people quit way before they get anywhere near their actual limit. They feel a little discomfort and they think they’ve hit their max. They haven’t. They’ve hit their comfort zone limit.
Your comfort zone limit is nowhere near your actual limit. Not even close.
The discomfort you should be looking for is the discomfort of expansion, not the discomfort of destruction. There’s a difference.
Expansion discomfort feels like: fear of the unknown, uncertainty, “what if I fail,” feeling like a fraud, wanting to quit because it’s scary. That’s growth. That’s exactly where you need to be.
Destruction discomfort feels like: complete burnout, physical illness, mental breakdown, losing your integrity, damaging relationships you care about. That’s too far. That’s self-destruction.
But here’s the thing: 99% of people never get anywhere near destruction discomfort. They quit at expansion discomfort and call it “taking care of myself.”
Taking care of yourself is important. But be honest about what you’re doing. Are you taking care of yourself or are you protecting yourself from growth?
Most people are doing the second one and calling it the first one.
If you want to grow, you have to be willing to be uncomfortable. Not destroyed. Uncomfortable. There’s a massive difference.
And if you’re asking whether you’re pushing too hard, you’re probably not pushing hard enough.
