This week’s question from our portal “Ask Us Anything” comes from Bryce.
My big goal for this year is to buy a new home in the next three to six months. The home I’m looking at is $1.5 million, which is significantly more than the condo I’m living at now. Our business had a loss in 2022, so I don’t know if buying a new house is financially justifiable. But I want the house.
In my mind, there seems to be a block, because I almost bought a house two years ago—but then talked myself out of it. Now interest rates have doubled, and the price of everything has gone up 20 or 30%. I’m seeing these things as obstacles in my mind. What’s the best, fastest way for me to focus on doing what needs to be done for me to buy the house I want?
Internalize it. Allow yourself to want it. Let the desire be totally okay.
And don’t base it on what you have or haven’t done in the past.
You don’t need to bring any logic or justification to why you want something. You can want it just because you want it.
A lot of times, our desire gets subconsciously attached to the people who were around us in our childhood who made us justify our desires.
Many times, as a kid, mom and dad paid for things, so it had to be justifiable to spend something outside of the budget. That became very important in the scope of how you lived as a child.
But today, you’re living as an adult. You have to be like,
“Wait a second, I don’t have to justify shit. If I want this, it’s okay for me to want it — just because I want it.”
The reason you have a mental block around this is because you can’t justify it in your mind. It doesn’t matter what the interest rate is. Interest rates are always different. Our parents bought houses in the 1970s when the interest rate was 21% or whatever it was, with crazy numbers.
You either want it or you don’t. If external things are causing you to question your desire, you have to ask yourself, “How bad do I really want this?”
Now, obviously you have to do something to earn the money to pay for the house. So if you’re not willing to do that, that’s totally fine. But the fact that this desire is coming around again is important.
You’re telling yourself no for a different reason. You’re telling yourself, “I don’t think I’m worthy of this.”
I would take some time to reflect on how your mother or father (or anyone else) made you justify your needs, wants, and desires as a kid.
If you had issues with your parents telling you “No” as a child, this sent the wrong message that what you want isn’t important. Not that your parents meant any harm in doing this; they could only teach you what they learned. But kids internalize stuff in a weird way. They take it very personally.
Just remember — you don’t need a reason to want something, other than you want it.
Internalize it, think about it, visualize it, and see yourself living in that house. Fantasize about it, and use your imagination. What would you enjoy doing in the house? See yourself doing it. That’s the first stage of creation.
David
P.S. If you find it difficult to allow yourself to want things in life—yet you know you’re meant for more—then I invite you to join me at my Art of Success Summit this October, so you can start to change your beliefs about yourself and what you’re worthy of. This event is where many of my most successful clients took the first step in working with me and creating a life and business they LOVE!
To learn more about the Art of Success Summit and how you can get a ticket for 50% off (expires soon!), click here!
