This week’s question from our portal “Ask Us Anything” comes Vicky.
I have a question about discounts and living congruently. Recently, my family wanted to give us a hotel discount, and I declined, wanting to use my hotel club membership and points instead. This caused disagreement about accepting the discount. I later went to Coach Outlet and shop at Costco, which made me wonder if I’m being inconsistent. When family offers discounts, it tends to cause confusion and conflict when I refuse them. How do I navigate this without appearing contradictory?
The distinction lies entirely in your intention. If you go somewhere specifically because of a discount, that would be inconsistent with an abundance mindset. However, if you go somewhere because you genuinely like it and they happen to offer a discount, that’s completely different.
When family members offer discounts, they’re actually offering gifts. I wouldn’t turn down a genuine gift – I’d say “thank you” and accept it graciously, knowing I don’t need the discount but appreciating their gesture.
The challenge is that people with different money mindsets can’t understand why you wouldn’t want to save money. It literally makes no sense to them. You may need to develop creative ways to handle these situations without creating conflict.
Regarding your examples: Going to Coach Outlet because you enjoy shopping there is different from going because it’s an outlet. Shopping at Costco because you like what they offer is different from shopping there to save money. Your motivation matters more than the location.
I understand this can create family tension. I’ve experienced similar situations where family members get genuinely angry when I decline coupons or discounts. They can’t fathom why someone would choose not to save money. The key is maintaining your boundaries while finding diplomatic ways to navigate these conversations.
Always remember this:
You don’t need anyone’s permission to spend money the way you choose. You’re operating from a place of abundance rather than scarcity, and that’s a fundamental difference in worldview that not everyone will understand.
