This week’s question from our portal “Ask Us Anything” comes Wilson.
I’ve noticed that certain things in my life create that “come hell or high water” feeling where I just know I have to have them, and those things always manifest. But other things I want – like traveling to Europe or buying a beach condo – don’t create that same intensity. I want them, but I keep looking and researching without taking action. Am I afraid of something, resisting something, or do I not really want these things?
What you’re describing are B goals versus A goals. A goals are those “come hell or high water” desires where you’d die on the line going after them. B goals are things you’d like to do, but they don’t carry that same urgency or necessity.
This is perfectly normal – we all have different levels of desire for different things. The key question is whether your behavior around these B goals is driven by fear or if there’s something else at play.
Sometimes when you’re researching endlessly without taking action, it’s because what you’re looking at isn’t actually what you want. You might be saying “no” to option after option because none of them feel right.
Here’s what I suggest: For B goals, give yourself deadlines and just pick something. Decide you want to travel, pick one trip, book it, and go. Otherwise, you’ll procrastinate indefinitely.
When you find yourself constantly looking but not finding what you want, ask a different question. Instead of focusing on what you don’t want, ask: “What would be magnificent? What would make this absolutely perfect?” If I could snap my fingers and create exactly what I want, what would that look like?
I often catch myself doing the same thing – looking at options that aren’t quite right and thinking maybe I should settle. But the right approach is to wait until you get clear on what would truly excite you, then make a decision from that place of clarity.
The difference between A and B goals isn’t a problem – it’s just recognition that not everything we want carries the same energetic charge. The key is handling each type appropriately.
