This week’s question from our portal “Ask Us Anything” comes from Ashley:
I’m working on building my confidence, but I notice that in certain situations—like speaking in front of groups or talking to potential high-level clients—I still get really nervous and I doubt myself. How do I build confidence in those specific areas?
Confidence is built through repetition and proof. You can’t think your way into confidence. You have to do your way into it.
Every time you do the thing you’re afraid of and you survive it, you build evidence for yourself that you can do it. And the more evidence you have, the more confident you become.
So if you’re nervous speaking in front of groups, the solution is to speak in front of groups more often. Not less. More.
Each time you do it, you’re proving to yourself that you can. Even if it doesn’t go perfectly. Even if you’re nervous the whole time. You did it. And that builds the muscle.
Confidence isn’t the absence of fear. It’s acting despite the fear. And the more you act despite the fear, the less fear there is.
Now, practically speaking, you can start small and build up. If speaking in front of 100 people terrifies you, start with 10. Then 20. Then 50. Build the confidence gradually.
But you have to actually do the thing. There’s no shortcut. There’s no affirmation or visualization that’s going to replace the actual experience of doing it.
So go do the thing you’re afraid of. Do it badly if you have to. Do it scared. But do it. And then do it again. And again. And again.
That’s how you build confidence. Not by waiting until you feel confident. By doing it until you become confident.
